I Hate You
by The Scratch Man
Summary: Ever wondered what happened to Courier after the Gambit mini-series was over? Well here's an AU I came up with. Oneshot, slash, heavy language in some places. SLASH. "I hate you, you know that?" "Yeah."


**Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel.**

**A/N: I know what you're thinking. A.) Omigod, what? Who da **_**hell**_** is Jacob Gavin Jr.?**

**B.) Ooh, I remember Courier! I always wondered what happened to him/her!**

**C.) Why the **_**hell**_** are you not updating on your other fics?**

**Well sorry. I **_**am**_** working on my other fics. There will probably be an update soon. Maybe next week. But I've been thinking. Marvel is introducing all these new characters with kick-ass powers (I don't like that. What was bad about the old characters? I love them.) while they kick out the old ones. Following this train of thought, I began to think of characters from **_**years**_** ago and I wondered to myself, "Huh. Where the hell did they go?" 'Cuz we never heard from them again. So, this is what my brain came up with. Remember Courier from the old Gambit mini-series? The shapeshifter guy who got turned permanently into a girl and who Gambit kissed at the end of the series? Yeah. HE'S BACK. **

**Here's one AU:**

* * *

><p>Gambit's sitting in a bar at a table by himself. He's mostly sober –only feeling the slightest bit tipsy.<p>

He's thinking to himself that he doesn't really like living on the West Coast. He misses Westchester, the mansion, Harry's place…

At least there, he had someone to drink with.

But nowadays, there's no one. Logan, who he always counted on to be his drinking-buddy, is all caught up in X-Force (or whatever it is he's doing that he's not supposed to) and Kurt's death, and his own fucking misery. Gambit always makes sure to ask if Logan wants to come along anyway. The answer is always no.

So when someone sits down across the booth, Gambit's first thought is that maybe it's Logan, who decided to join up with him after all.

He looks up to see a man –_not_ Logan –sitting there. He's got dark hair and blue eyes, too, but these eyes are a different shade. These eyes are—

Familiar?

Remy blinks twice to makes sure he's seeing right. "_Mon dieu_," He gasps, "Jake?"

"In the flesh," Jacob Gavin Jr. replies.

They haven't seen each other in nearly four years. The last Remy had seen of him, Jake had been a stuck in a female body after a run-in with Sinister that had gone wrong. Because those always do.

"You're"

"—Male? Yes. I know. Have been since M-Day." Courier –Jacob –_Jake_ says. "Losing my powers turned me back. Who would've know it'd be that simple?" He holds up one of his hands, where a finger is missing, "'Course, I also lost my finger again." He squints at Gambit, eyeing him critically before saying, "I hate you, you know that?"

The corner of Remy's mouth twitches, "_Mais oui_." He says.

"Two years." Jake says, "I was a woman for _two_ whole fucking years, thanks to you."

"Sorry," Remy says, suppressing a grin.

Jake scowls, "No you're not. Buy me a drink."

Remy motions for someone to bring over another drink while Jake continues: "And don't you go thinking that anything you ever did made up for it. I had to go through fucking _periods_, you know. Horrible cramps. I now understand what women bitch about." He grumbles. He picks up the glass of alcohol that's just been set in front of him and takes a gulp.

"So what brings y' to de West Coast?" Remy wants to know.

"A vacation." Jake replies. "No, I'm just traveling. Kind of out of business since I can't shapeshift anymore."

"Heard de X-Men moved to San Francisco an' decided t' pay y' old friend Remy a visit?" He grins.

"Don't flatter yourself." Jake snaps, "The last thing I expected when I walked in here was to see _you_ again."

"Well, I can say de same here, _homme_," Remy nods, "Four years. What y' been up to?"

"Not much." He says, waving a hand dismissively. He takes another drink and says, "What about you? Heard you were caught up in some… vampire business."

Remy laughs, "Dat was a few weeks ago. It's over now."

"Hm. Well I suppose I'm out of the loop on all the mutant stuff these days." He scowls.

"Ye, y' lookin' at me like M-Day was _my_ fault."

"Knowing the amount of trouble you cause, I really wouldn't be surprised if somehow it were." Jake snorts.

It's just like old times. Remy flirts, Jake replies with insults, and he doesn't mean a single one of them. But neither of them are mentioning what they're both thinking about.

"So, you still with that nasty-tempered woman?"

"Rogue?" Remy leans back and shakes his head, "She needs time."

"Seems to me that she always needs time." Jake says, "I heard she was getting cozy with Magneto again, though."

"Yeah? An' where y' hearin' all dis from?" It's Remy's turn to snap.

Jake grins. "_National Enquirer_." He says.

There's a moment of silence and then Remy rolls his eyes and Jake laughs. It's a sound Remy hasn't heard in a long time, but as soon as he does, he feels like he hears it every day. It makes him smile.

Pretty soon, they're both sitting there, beaming at each other. Slightly tipsy.

"How long y' gonna be in de city?" Remy asks.

"Long as I feel like." He replies.

"How's Dad?"

"Dead." Jake says with a slight frown.

"Oh. Sorry."

"Stroke."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

"So does dat make you-?"

"Sold the company."

"_Why_?" Remy exclaims.

"Why _not_?" Jake counters, "I didn't want it."

"What _do _y' want, den?"

"Strange." Jake says, "I recall asking you the same thing a few years ago."

There's a silence. They've finally gotten to it.

"Y' did." Remy acknowledges.

"Still keeping everyone on their toes?" Jake asks.

Remy laughs.

"You kissed me." Jake accuses.

"It was spontaneous."

"And then you were gone the next day, you asshole." He says.

"So which part re you angry about?" Remy asks, "Dat I kissed you, or dat I left afterward?"

"That you _left_." Jake hisses, "Never heard from you again."

"Sorry."

"Oh, quit saying that. Spontaneous my ass, Remy," Jake says, "How dare you kiss me. It was the body, wasn't it? I did design her to look good, but that didn't mean you could stare down my shirt all the time like I was any other Friday night hook-up. God, I hate you so much—" He's cut off from his rant when Remy leans over the table and kisses him.

Jake just sits there for a moment and lets Remy kiss him before the Cajun sits back in his seat again.

"What was that for?" He demands.

"I've missed y' whinin'." Remy tells him.

"I do not _whine_." Jake says indignantly, "And that's not what I meant. I meant _why_ did you kiss me?"

"It's not de body, Jake. It's jus' you." Remy says.

"Oh. Well."

They stare at each other for a while.

"So how long do y' feel like stayin' here?" Remy wonders.

"A while, maybe. I like the ocean."

"Hm."

"I could probably get a place here."

"Want a tour?"

"Well, I've been here before, but-"

"Jus' say yes, Jake."

"-Why not?"

They get up, Remy drops some bills on the table, and they walk outside together.

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><p><strong>AN: God, I **_**loved**_** Courier. I also miss**** Fontanelle (is that how you spell it?). Wonder what she's doin' in Marvel right now. Anyway, review!**


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